My Dear family and friends,
So much has happened!
I have found that when I am in the
service of others I am in the service of my God.
I will let the pictures do the talking....
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For me - it is a new heart.
In my mission, they ask each Elder
or Sister to share their conversion story. I would like to share with you the
one I submitted…I know it will change with time, but this is where I have
arrived; and the journey continues…
May God bless each one of you with
His choicest blessings. I love you and miss you so much.
Thank you for your prayers, love and
support. It is because of you that I am who I am today, Thank You!
Love,
Sister Cassita
My Conversion Story
April 29, 2013
April 29, 2013
I
was born and raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am
the youngest of 13 children. I figure by the time I came along my parents must
have been very tired. But no worries; I had plenty of siblings who all helped
take care of me. I had a wonderful grandpa who taught me many things; the most
important was that he loved me.
My
mother and I didn't get along and my poor father was put in between the two of
us, on many occasions, to try and keep the peace. We lived double
standards, it seemed. We would go to church and learn how to be like Jesus,
(loving, kind, gentle,) and yet, in my home there was much of the opposite. I
don't share this at all to judge my parents, but it placed a lot of confusion
in my mind through my growing up years.
I
have endured many kinds of abuses; some so severe, that where I find myself
right now in my life, is truly a miracle. At 18 years of age, I left the church
and was sure that I would never return. At 22 years of age, I became pregnant.
After I gave birth to my first son, I was alone one day, while still in the
hospital in Holland. While I was holding my child, feeling overwhelmed and
fearful of what lay ahead, I asked God what I was supposed to do with this
child. The answer came ever so quickly. "Teach him what you
know." My mind immediately went back to my Primary days and I
knew that this is what I must do for my child. I had been lost for 4 long
years; completely let go of the iron rod. It was a long road back but worth
every step. It began first as a desire, and not so much for me as it
was for my child, for I knew that he was my responsibility; then came
repentance.
I
had 3 more children, to make a total of 4. I loved being a mother and we were
eventually sealed as a family in the House of the Lord. I divorced after 10
years of marriage, went to nursing school, and did my best to raise my children
in the Gospel, all the time feeling like I was just hanging on. Life was
difficult and I had many struggles that challenged my faith and trust in my
Heavenly Father. I felt lost and alone.
The
major event that would turn my face toward God and change my heart was the day
I went to take my own life. My brother had taken his, (later, his son took his,
as well) and it seemed like an easy way out. But also, I wanted to
try and get back at others for hurting me through their judgments. (I know...
not Christ-like at all...) In His mercy and compassion, God placed a
little lost girl outside my door, which saved my life, as Satan’s grasp on me
was interrupted through my service to help her. In that same hour, He brought
me a new best friend who stayed with me and kept me safe. I was so blessed that
day and I am still blessed to this day. Through many trials, which seemed to
increase in their intensity, I have been given many answers to prayers, often
through my best friend and her service to me.
As
I find myself now serving a mission and pondering how I got to this place, my
eyes are filled with tears. Only through the Grace of God, am I here, and
because of the many prayers offered on my behalf, by my family and friends. I
find that I am truly converted to Jesus Christ. I have learned to prioritize
and order my life through being obedient to His will. I recognize that my every
pursuit, passion, thought and behavior must always be in line with His will. I
had to become susceptible to the Light; a complete turning around and trusting
Him. This was huge for me - To face His light and truth and then know that I am
capable of perceiving, and then following the will of God with complete trust;
a trust that is spontaneous and innocent, like that of a child. And
now with that trust, I am an Ambassador for Christ.
Through
true conversion, my conversion is real. It has become all that matters to me.
It is what helps me to endure and God has promised that if we endure to the
end, we shall be saved. I have a new hope in my heart, knowing that I am
imperfect but acceptable to God. My heart has changed through the
gift of the Atonement of my beloved Savior, Jesus Christ. Oh, how I love Him
with all my heart, might, mind and soul! Oh, how I love my children with all my
heart; they are so dear to me. I love my extended family and all my friends;
you are precious and wonderful. Line upon line, precept upon precept, my
conversion will continue to grow. My heart is and always will be - His. I know
that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only true church on
the face of the earth. I love, love being a disciple of Christ. This is my
testimony, in His holy name, even Jesus Christ, Amen.
